Hoggle has released "Sticklord Episode Three: Revenge of the Slyph."
For some more images of Classic Polerand and the early days of exile, check out these pages of old sketches.
-Para
MaryJane made the following report to TMN in town:
MaryJane says, "Mr. Paramedic"
MaryJane says, "I have something to report..."
Paramedic says, "Thoom."
Paramedic says, "ok"
MaryJane says, "Mr. Kalemis Stainfinger came out of the alchemy hut earlier"
Paramedic says, "hm"
MaryJane says, "and Mr. Lov'sya and myself took him to check out the mushroom on the cloud that infected all the other ones"
Paramedic says, "hmm"
MaryJane says, "I have a visionstone if you would like to see the first part. I forgot to turn it back on"
MaryJane says, "after we moved the portal"
Paramedic says, "Sure, you can send it along!
MaryJane says, "I think Mr. Lov'sya might have more sketches"
MaryJane says, "So . . . he wanted us to collect some mutated spores so he can study them . . and see if he can help us deal with getting more regular ones"
I have attached another movie from my turning the spores collected over to Mr. Kalemis Stainfinger. He was pleased with the quality of the spores that Mr. Lov'sya collected as well as the few that I got.
-MaryJane
Noivad sent the following announcement to TMN:
Introducing the new and improved CLUMP, Clan Lord's Unofficial Manual Project.
This manual has been revised for faster access and easier editing. The manual is available in the library. There are plenty of extra pages in the manual so you can add your own knowledge to it. the CLUMP is located on the bookcase marked http://www.noivad.net/clump/.
-Noivad
Kerrah sent the following report to TMN:
Hello Para,
As many are aware, a few zodiacs ago a large mysterious, mammoth-looking creature was found deep within Metzetli Island. After much effort, the beast was destroyed, and many exiles believed this "Mantuan" to be the only one in existence.
But a few days ago, another Mantuan was found on the island. After seeing how difficult it had been for the last Mantuan to be vanquished, we opted to lure this new one to the relative safety of the cove snell.
After preparing ourselves for the excitement of the hunt, we rushed onto the shore, handily felling the mammoth on our first shot.
Gorvin gleefully chained the Mantuan, with the hopes of putting it to work in the Coliseum for some very interesting bouts. Unfortunately, the Coliseum could not contain such a creature, so off we went to Philip Peltkeeper, hoping that he would have finally learned how to stuff such a large creature. Sadly, Philip is still unable to perform his taxidermy on this oversized pachyderm.
Even though our hopes of having a trophy of this menacing giant were dashed, we still have the memories of a great hunt, and the satisfaction of keeping Metzetli relatively safe for other groups to hunt in the future.
Please be careful in your travels to Metzetli. No one knows yet how many more Mantuans might be found on the island, and getting caught underfoot of one is a very painful, deadly experience indeed.
-Kerrah
Inu Teisei sent the following announcement to TMN:
News Flash! Ravenstorm has discovered his two long-lost daughters from thirty or so years ago: Pun'isher and Inu Teisei!
The first one is the one-and-only Pun'isher, who, like her mother favors frilly expensive stuff, but also knows how to take care of her daddy (provide him with a keg). This is what got him into this situation in the first place. He was in a haze for about a week in with Pun'isher's mom after ingesting beer that was made with must have been psychedelic barley or hops. She has yet to be exiled. He soon came to his senses, where he met Inu Teisei's mom. They had a month of love then Ravenstorm had to leave Inu's mother in order to defend the kingdom.
Unfortunately, Inu's mother died in childbirth, so he was never able to reunite with his true love. He also was unaware that he had sired such a lovely daughter as Inu Teisei—a free spirit—and, oh yeah, and the red-headed step-sister we now know as Pun'isher. Upon learning the news, Ravenstorm quickly went about reliving those nights long ago by partaking of some of Pun'isher's wicked brew, sans psychedelic barley and hops we hope.
Attached are the pictures to document the memorable evening in TC.
- Written by Inu Teisei. The one who would be Ravenstorm's favorite
illegitimate daughter if it weren't for her wannabe red-headed step-sister Pun'isher.
The celebration of the Feast of Tsrrin continues. Talk about town is of occasional invasions and giant frog problems.
Joe from Delta Tao was recently interviewed by Gamasutra.
Measle reports in his most recent journal entry on the beginning of the Feast of Tsrrin and on exiles still getting things done during the celebration.
Super Chicken reports to TMN on the beginning of the Feast:
So there I was minding my own business strutting around town like ah chicken, when suddenly a mannequin out of my house stole my clothes! Sadly, the costume store has nothing in "chicken size" so I must endure Tsrinn naked.
-Super Chicken
Chance sent the following report to TMN:
Hail Para,
Exiles beware! A marauding chicken is invading houses in Puddleby Hollows and gnawing on the furniture! Is no place safe??
I invited my clanmate, Super Chicken, to visit the apartment that I share with my husband, Yharren. I admit I thought it was amusing at first when my chicken friend bounced jauntily on the bed. But then . . . the horror! He began to gnaw on a chair!
Will the gnawing never be stopped??
I thought I could trust my own clansister—er—clan chicken? But I was wrong . . .
Sadly,
-Chance
Aravir reports in his most recent journal entry on the recent battles and rescues in the Horde.
Measle reports on ore collection and preproduction for the Bawkmas Pageant in his most recent journal entry.
Kirth Gersen reports on getting a Horus Ledger in his most recent journal entry.
In response to popular demand, here's the SlartyGM movie with OS X Zip compression. Some people have had problems with the Stuffit-compressed version.
Puddleopedia is a collaborative effort to produce an encyclopedia of knowledge useful to exiles. I recommend it. Please check it out and consider contributing to it.
-Para
Aravir reports in his most recent journal entry on an expansion to the bakery.
Mellion sent the following report to TMN:
Paramedic,
There was a big Darshak invasion last night. Apparently, they were coordinating their Undine and their elite Darshaks to raid Puddleby. Their motives are uncertain, but it did involve Captain Scabfoot.
The included sketch shows a situation where one hopes not to be: between two Greater Deaths.
In the end, we defeated them and drove them back to Ash, although it took hours. It appears they're really getting serious about attacking us. Let's hope they never succeed!
-Mellion
Creed sent the following report to TMN:
Hail Para!
I have just a couple of sketches to share with your viewers.
As most exiles know, there have been many Darshak invasions recently, including one earlier today. I tried to help for a while, including doing some healing outside of Ash Island, where the exiles had taken the fight to the Darshak on both the southern and western beaches. Unfortunately, I fell on the south beach along with several fine fighters.
I would like to pay tribute to the bravery of Shadrock, who tried his best to reach us, and who help up marvelously against the Darshak swords for a very long time before being cut down at last by a particularly tough enemy.
On a much lighter note, a few days previously I was delighted to run into my old clanmate Rhone in town center. Rhone has been away on the mainland, and sadly, he had to appear in disguise as a citizen of Agratis. But he was our most yabalicious Rhone indeed. We had a nice chat, and he asked me to pass along greetings to many of his exiled friends, which I will do as I see them.
Clan Destine misses Rhone and other members who have been away. Maybe this can be taken as a sign that our clan may become more active again soon.
Cheers,
-Creed
Cj parker sent the following announcement to TMN:
PAG is recruiting! We are looking for skilled exiles for both Thursday and Sunday hunts. Please read our announcement on the Sentinel for more details on how to apply.
Fundin/Cj parker
Azriel has filed reports in his journal for Chaos Storm #463 and Chaos Storm #460.
Clyde sent the following report to TMN:
'lo Para,
As you can see in the enclosed sketch, a small group of restless explorers intended to visit Sarra, and stumbled upon Lady Sarra herself, in one form or another. I know many of us have been searching for this for quite awhile, so we thought it fitting to share with TMN.
Unfortunately, our pleasure was short-lived, as we had a rather unfortunate exit in a place quite far from where we expected our feet to land. Be wary visiting this grave, as you may shortly find yourself in your own.
Here, Gorvin is pictured executing a daring escape, although in the end he didn't quite manage to get past the valley rat, having evaded the 'yrms, cobras, cats and monkies.
-Clyde
Kani sent the following report to TMN:
Darkstone Shards
As many ThoomCare readers may be aware, there has been a restless unease stirring in the Darshak of late. Frequently have they have raided Puddleby, from the north as well as the west coast. These raids may largely be attributed to the discovery of two unusual crystal fragments.
These "darkstone shards," as they are called, were both recovered in what might be considered Darshak territory. The first was found in the depths of the Dark Chamber, near the blazing pentagram. The second was looted from a ship sunken in the waters of a subterranean cavern on Devil's Island. As shown in the illustration above, they are irregular and may be pieces of the same whole.
Valuable as the crystal pieces may be, they have held no good luck for those who bore them. Unusual ranks of Darshak chased Diana D'Fey across Ash's barren forests, and as Garr held the crystal, his mind twisted and led him towards the Pentagram in the Dark Temple. I myself have have experienced a dark haze descending over my thoughts as I held the second shard.
Captain Scabfoot and the Necromancer
One evening, I had contacted Diana D'Fey to compare observations and craft a plan for the future of the crystals. We met with a small group of friends in the Meadow, far from Darshak territory, and began to discuss what we'd experienced. Soon thereafter, Pluq Strindham cried for help from the Northern Beaches, where he'd been beset by a landing party of Darshak. A stready stream of sunstone messages from falling exiles in the Plains and surrounding area soon followed.
Captain Scabfoot, who had been well-established in Balengil's farm, disappeared as the band of Darshak swarmed inland. Back in the Meadow, worries of being caught in a pincer movement began to cross my mind, and our party broke company to find other havens. Diana and I both eventually found our way to town, while hearing from our far-flung friends that the Darshak masses were being held at bay.
Secure as we felt, we did not expect the arrival of an unusually cunning, persistent, and persuasive undine. We were quickly pursuaded to fall by the grasping of limbs of one Captain Scabfoot, coerced by foul magic to the guise of a corpse warrior. He dragged our limp corpses to the undine hut, where his master, a Necromancer, congratulated and curtly dismissed him.
Friends rushed to our aid, but their efforts were stymied by the waves of greater Undine summoned by our captor. As he surrounded himself with the walking and floating dead, he demanded that we turn over what was rightfully his. He wouldn't say what exactly it was that he wanted, and of course I couldn't bring to mind what it was, so our friendly discussion didn't make much progress.
Resourceful as exiles are, they quickly laid waste to the Necromancer's minions, and sent him fleeing to the dark cave and Alchemist's Folly with me pulled behind. Diana escaped to Purgatory just before this retreat, and so missed his later threats and cold words. Though we spoke many minutes more, he made no concessions save an offer of eternal life as an undine in trade. He had not yet managed to state what exactly it was that he wanted when he was slain by the flood of exiles pouring forth into Alchemist's Folly.
Back in town, Captain Scabfoot was encountered again, returned to his usual swashbuckling form. He was suffering from amnesia, and almost immediately after his memory started to return he changed form into an undine and attacked the townsfolk. This happened in several cycles, before Caesar and others sat on his chest to prevent him getting up. They pinned him there for most of an hour, before Noivad dragged him to the jail, where his curse seemed to be lifted.
Regards,
-Kani
An anonymous exile submitted this report:
An incident occurred recently in Puddleby. The rebel darshak, Captain Scabfoot, kidnapped an exile against his will. The exile was chained deep underground where a gruesome scene unfolded. The Puddlebean was burned and tortured while being interrogated by the Necro.
Heroically, the exiles risked life and limb to rescue their own. After the pile of fallens and undine corpses stretched to the sea, finally, the kidnapped exile was liberated. However, the traitorous darshak, Captain Scabfoot, soon stumbled out of the dark cavern . . .
As the furious exiles quickly assailed him, it was apparent that this Captain had been cursed. Captain Scabfoot continued to shift between life and death. Puddleby was unable to control the continued metamorphosis, and exile after exile fell to the cursed blade.
Eventually, the exiles and Puddleby's sheriff were able to contain this madness within a cell. Within the jailhouse, the mental enhancements of a mystic helped the beleaguered Captain Scabfoot stave off the shadow consuming him.
As Scabfoot came out of the hazy dream, the Captain began to remember the atrocities committed. With a strong feeling of remorse, Captain Scabfoot began to answer some of the exiles' questions . . .
A highly abridged version of what spoken in the jailhouse between the exiles and Capt'n Scabfoot follows:
Captain Scabfoot says, "I were tryin' ta protect tha grapes."
Captain Scabfoot says, "There were too many."
Captain Scabfoot says, "It ain't no beer. But Gatsby be a good lad."
Melben asks, "Do you remember where they cursed you?"
Captain Scabfoot says, "It be fuzzy"
Captain Scabfoot says, "I were fleein"
Captain Scabfoot says, "Darkness..."
Captain Scabfoot says, "I were pulled towards a dark force."
Captain Scabfoot says, "I were drawn ta sumthin', I dunno what..."
Melben asks, "What do you know about the crystals, Captain?"
Captain Scabfoot asks, "What crystals?"
Melben says, "Let's just say the darshak are not the only skilled thieves in the island chain."
Captain Scabfoot asks, "Aye?"
Melben says, "And that we have heard a crystal or shard might be desired by some..."
Captain Scabfoot asks, "Ye think that be what I were after?"
Melben says, "It is the rumor."
Melben asks, "What use would the Cult have for it?"
Captain Scabfoot says, "Whatever it be. It 'as a whale o' evil 'nergy"
Fundin sent the following announcement to TMN:
As of October 10, 2006, the Pitch Assault Group has been going for three years. Pretty awesome! We have seen people come and go and come again, including the regulars and new faces, of course, plus the many guests.
We have explored new places and had a lot of fun along the way, as well as some very trying times too. Now everything we have worked for during the past three years is now coming together as the Orga story unravels, and we hope to finally solve this for the whole of Puddleby.
Thanks to all who have made this possible.
-Fundin/Cj parker
Super Chicken sent the following report to TMN:
Today Illora and some others mentioned a second gnawing pot in Junko's junk pile! So, I thought it worth investigating. There was a whole buncha grapes and stuff in there with it, yet after a few attempts at recovering stuff from Junko (and a few grapes later) Junko gave me the gnawing pot! And what a gnawing pot it is!
On a sidenote from my incredible chicken glory, J'nder was after a gnawing pot too, so I plan on donating it to her when I see her next, with some chicken teeth marks included.
Bawk bawk!
-Super Chicken
Fundin sent the following report to TMN:
SlartyGM was in the fairgrounds today. He answered a few questions and stuff; some obviously he couldn't, but I had to try! A movie can be downloaded here if you wish. It's short.
-Fundin
Chaos Storm #463 has swept the Lok'Groton island chain. Please post any changes you have observed and wish to share with others in the comments. If you don't want to read possible spoilers, please do not read the comments.
Aravir added a number of new entries to his journal in recent months, and I've been remiss in posting them to TMN. In recent entries, Aravir has reported on a variety of hunts, raids, and the recent invasions of orga and noids.
New healer Illora Mone sent these pictures of the closing ceremonies of the 564 Newbielympics.
Illora Mone also sent to TMN the following pictures of a chicken-grab-foot line and of Bartok in the Temple.
Updated!
Super Chicken and I encountered a "Mock Chicken" in town last night.
Largo was unavailable for comment.
Super Chicken exclaims, "it's gonna lead me to pirate gold!"
Paramedic says, "hello"
Super Chicken exclaims, "pirate gold i say!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Super Chicken ponders, "pirate gold!"
Super Chicken blows his horn.
A monster says, "Bawk"
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Super Chicken asks, "bawk bawk?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "bawk bawk? Bawk!"
A monster says, "Bawk, bawk. Bawk bawk bawk. Bawk. Bawk bawk -- bawk, bawk! Bawk? Bawk."
(Super Chicken nods intently)
(Super Chicken does the chicken dance!)
Paramedic says, "Thoom."
A monster asks, "Thawk?"
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Paramedic says, "Thoom."
Super Chicken exclaims, "chickens can't thoom!"
Super Chicken yells, "Bawk!"
Paramedic says, "Ok chicken, out with the info"
Super Chicken asks, "bawk?"
A monster says, "Bawk bawk"
Super Chicken thinks to you, "OOC if you wanna whack the chicken it's probally a GM spawned... umm... thingie."
Super Chicken exclaims, "Bawk!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "oh no!"
Largo says, "Accident."
Super Chicken exclaims, "largo squished it!"
Largo asks, "What?"
Paramedic says, "Oh man"
Super Chicken exclaims, "poor lil chicken friend!"
Largo says, "I thought it was a scavenger bird."
Paramedic says, "That was a talking chicken"
Largo asks, "What!?"
(Largo feels dumb.)
(Super Chicken feels largo's dumbness)
Largo asks, "This isn't going to be printed, is it?"
Paramedic says, "Alas"
Super Chicken exclaims, "sure is!"
Paramedic says, "Probably"
Super Chicken exclaims, "with a largo dumb dumb ending!"
Largo says, "I'm unavailable for comment."
Super Chicken asks, "so what was it largo?"
Paramedic says, "Mmm."
Koppi yells, "Paramedic reports: TMN: Thoom News You Can Use. http://www.thoomcare.com"
Super Chicken asks, "was it a chicken groupie? a mock chicken?"
Largo says, "Mock chicken."
Super Chicken exclaims, "a mock chicken!"
Largo says, "But I'm unavailable for comment."
Paramedic says, "Hmm"
Super Chicken exclaims, "he would have led us to pirate gold!"
Super Chicken yells, "pirate gold!"
Largo exclaims, "Sorry!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "and now. i horn you!"
Largo exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken blows his horn.
Paramedic says, "MURDER IN PUDDLEBY"
Super Chicken exclaims, "yar!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "it was professor plum!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "with a candlestick!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "in the brewery!"
Kahn St'ple ponders, "Probably headed to rehab."
Paramedic says, "With a sword"
Paramedic says, "rehab?"
Super Chicken says, "bawk"
Super Chicken asks, "ergh does Kahn usually say that?"
Paramedic says, "I don't think so"
Super Chicken exclaims, "thoomcare news at its finest!"
(Paramedic scratches his head)
Super Chicken says, "we should make news! like hoggle"
Super Chicken exclaims, "call it chicken scratch!"
Paramedic says, "Yeah, I'll just start pulling stuff out of my ass"
Super Chicken exclaims, "ya!"
Paramedic says, "and printing it"
Super Chicken exclaims, "exactly!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "you'll win a thoomcare news pulizter!"
(Paramedic nods.)
Super Chicken says, "awarded by yourself, to yourself"
Super Chicken exclaims, "wellp! time to scurrie off back to town at chickening speed!"
Paramedic says, "Hmm."
Koppi yells, "Super Chicken reports: Always fresh chickenfeed at http://www.thoomcare.com/ !"
Super Chicken exclaims, "!"
Super Chicken yells, "i never said that!"
Paramedic says, "Um"
Super Chicken exclaims, "pesky koppi!"
Kalypso says, "thank you"
Super Chicken exclaims, "koppi telling out false information!"
Paramedic says, "He's just making stuff up now, I guess"
Super Chicken says, "that's thoomcare news worthy! let's investigate"
Super Chicken yells, "we're coming for you koppi!"
Paramedic asks, "You feeling okay?"
Super Chicken says, "alright Koppi! who said i said to say that to say said say said"
Super Chicken blows his horn.
(Super Chicken lazies)
Super Chicken asks, "should i horn him again?"
Paramedic says, "Yeah knock yourself out"
(Super Chicken nods)
Super Chicken says, "need to build up my chicken lung power to do that though. it'll take a few minutes"
Paramedic says, "Must be hell to blow a horn with a beak anyway"
Super Chicken says, "i wonder if muwe actually said that"
Super Chicken says, "yar"
(Super Chicken huffs and puffs)
Super Chicken says, "pesky chickenized lung power"
Super Chicken blows his horn.
Super Chicken exclaims, "take that!"
Super Chicken exclaims, "show fork over the info Koppi!"
Super Chicken says, "or i shall slowly wait and eventually horn you again"
Super Chicken asks, "whatcha think para?"
Super Chicken says, "i think he's giving us the silent treatment"
Paramedic says, "I think he's asleep."
Super Chicken says, "yar"
Janus sent the following report to TMN:
Hi there! I normally don't submit news . . . "thingies", but I figure this may be noteworthy. After stealing blood, and doing things I would rather not talk about, etc. etc., Bartok made this potion with a "Petulant" cohort friend of his.
-Janus
Noivad sent the following report to TMN:
Para,
Today Silky and I met an fighter just recently from Shan Deral. What makes this one unique is that she was an underground information gatherer and published an underground paper. I've encouraged her to contact you about a job for the off hours.
We talked of many things in Shan Deral, the emperor, the execution of exiles . . . most rumors, but in some rumors lies truth. Hopefully she'll get a post office box and you can contact her about being a reporter.
Thanks,
-Noivad
The following report may contain spoilers. If you are concerned that such information is something you would prefer not to read, please do not look below.
Spoilers below, please don't read on if likely to be offended.
PAG recently unlocked a key part of the Orga Stronghold and was able to explore various new areas. We opened up a new entrance to the stonghold, within the SCs, reachable with a mystic to teleport via a booster stone. Our investigations and exploration continues apace and we will keep you up to date on our progress. As its early days information is sparse, but it will become more frequent as/when/if! we progress deeper.
Oh, and we found an old friend there . . . more on that very soon.
-Cj parker for PAG
Arianrhod sent the following announcement to TMN:
Hey exiles,
I've recently come across the recipe to create a new type of horn! That's right, no more normal boring gambling house horns, now you can get a much more peaceful sounding sea horn!
I, Arianrhod, have headed off to Peaceton in search of curved ocean shells, the base material used in the sea horn, and will not be back for a while, but if you would like, you could sunstone me while I'm in the lands and make me an offer. Alasee and Legoloras have also come to Peaceton with me, so if I'm not in the lands you can always sunstone one of them with an offer! Also keep in mind that I can make various rings, necklaces and earrings if you would like!
Thanks Puddleby,
-Arianrhod
Zynx sent the following announcement to TMN:
Heya Para,
I recently checked my trainers, which I hadn't done in a LONG time and discovered that Evus bows to me now! He is the first one to do so! Anyway, here are a couple pictures.
SDC!
-Zynx
