Fen President Odesseus Interviewed

TMN EXCLUSIVE: FIVE QUESTIONS WITH FEN PRESIDENT ODESSEUS

TMN would like to conduct an interview with the distinguished Fen President Odesseus. Would you be interested in answering these five questions?

It's my honor to be interviewed by the esteemed TMN.

1) Fen President Odesseus, it's an honor to have you answer five questions with TMN today. Election season is fast approaching, as you know, and your term will be soon coming to an end. Would you give us your thoughts on your legacy? High points? Mistakes?

I'd like to emphasize that I, during my term, never openly over-governed any Puddlbeans. Now some may say that I didn't govern at all, but to that I say HA! The lack of visible governance just proves my effective behind-the-scenes work!

Also, there are plenty of positive things that I have done. Like, ummmm, well PLENTY. Really.

My only regret in retrospect is that I may have done TOO much behind-the-scenes governance. I really had my paws in many things. Unfortunately it's all pretty hush-hush, so you'll have to take my word ok it. Just let me say, ahem, mumbleetherealplaneqmumble. Get it?

2) As I'm sure you've heard, Largo's back. And he's throwing his hat back into politics. Largo has mentioned Relkin's name as a possible Fen Vice President. Holding the office of Fen Vice President twice would be unprecedented. Do you think Relkin will be interested in serving as Fen Vice President again? Or will Relkin settle for nothing less than running for President himself?

Poor Relkin. Always the bridesmaid. Well, he'd look funny in those dresses, anyway. And Largo . . well, in tossing his hat he might miss the ring altogether! HA! That's funny!

Really, Largo's pretty good, but you know what? I personally like Kallisto for the next Fen President. I know she hasn't actually announced her bid yet, but I'd like to be the first to endorse her. Look, Largo actually says he's a celebrity! Do you want a star or do you want a Fen? Plus she's hot, er, smart. I mean she's a female and she wields a sword! What more could you ask for in a Fen president!

3) The Largocrats have blamed your administration for inactivity and incompetence in the face of new Orga attacks and the crash of Puddleby's financial system. The financing and construction of the Alliance Castle project has come to a stop because of the sub-prime mortgage crisis. How do you intend to get Puddleby's economy back on track and put the Orga back in their place in the time remaining of your term?

Who has been on the front lines falling and falling and, er, falling? Largo? No! He's been in some "undislosed location." I've been out there putting my tail on the line for our people, literally! It's still out there! It got cut off in the last skirmish. If anyone finds it, please sunstone me. I know the Orga will relent. But first we need more coins to fund the effort. Get out there and coin! Help the War On War effort!

As for the castle, the idea of a bailout has come up. If that happens, I'd just like to say that the people's coins will be well invested. We might even make a special vestibule for the non-Alliance people to visit!

4) The recent Orga attacks have called attention to the fact that the University of Puddleby is dangerously far from town. Some exiles propose building a paved roadway out to the campus, but others think this solution is a waste of money. How do you think this problem should be addressed?

Actually, that's good. In addition to learning things at the university, they can learn other lessons, like conflict avoidance, running from hostiles and hostage negotiation! Plus everyone knows that intellectuals never get enough exercise. The walk will do them good.

5) What do you intend to do after leaving office? Is there hunting in your future? Retiring to farm kudzu? Consulting work? Will we continue to see you in Puddleby politics?

Well, I actually plan to continue to do more behind-the-scenes sabota . . . er, guidance in Fen politics. Also, I'd like to get the Rising Claw scrolls back up and the RC statue in the museum. Other than that, I'll still be hanging around being just lil ole me, one of the most influential Fen'neko in Puddleby history.

In keeping with the old Fishwrap Magazine tradition, you are now allowed to ask the Thoom ONE (1) question.

So, Para, have you ever thought of running for Fen president? There's no reason you can't decide you'd be the best choice!

I leave politics to the professionals.

Thank you, Fen President Odesseus, for taking the time to be interviewed by TMN!

Posted by Para at September 25, 2008 06:43 AM