art by Sor and unknown artist
Thooms Merlisk and Bones (shown above, left to right) have had an altercation. Two opposing Letters to the Editor are hereby presented at TMN. Despite the calls herein, ThoomCare cannot take sides between two ThoomCare Consulting Physicians. Should fortune shine upon Thooms, as it usually does, this matter will be resolved quickly and fairly.
Letters to the Editor
Dearest Paramedic,
I write you in regards to a grave matter.
After trading jibes with Althea, she took grave insult and challenged me to a duel. I fought her champion, Bones. Alas! Thoom against Thoom is bad!
Nevertheless, I won. Bearing the shame of defeat, Althea accused me of cheating! Then, she hunted me down and killed me. Her slave, Glug, raised me and she killed me again!
I propose we ban her from all ThoomCare™ healing from now on.
I consider this is a grave injustice.
With heavy hand I write this,
Merlisk
---
Dear Paramedic,
I know Merlisk the Thoom will be sending you a letter calling for a boycott of ThoomCare™ healing services on my person.
Tonight he insulted me. I challenged him to a duel but he refused to fight me. Instead, he fought Bones.
As you can see from the attached photos, he wasn't exactly fighting fair. He repeatedly called on Algernon to heal him in the middle of the duel. Bones, on the other hand, fought valiantly and bravely, in the manner befitting a true GentleThoom.
Bones is a hero. Merlisk is a cad.
After felling Bones, I asked him to take up the glove and fight me. He did. I dropped him.
Now he calls for a boycott on me and says he will use ThoomCare™ to get me back.
I trust you will respond wisely. Thank you in advance for listening.
Althea
Posted by Para at July 07, 2003 12:28 AM*chuckle*
Posted by: Salandra on July 7, 2003 01:41 AMI *knew* I should've taken a visionstone of Sareth tripping me and Bones and Glug trying to hem me in when Althea unjustly attacked me!
As far as using Algernon, he's so dimwitted that he never got around to healing me!
Althea is using slander and lies, once again. I stand by my insult on her. Indeed, my defeating her champion, Bones, showed I was correct.
Posted by: Merlisk on July 7, 2003 08:59 AMThoom vs. Thoom is bad but now do they have to ask for ThoomCare™ to take sides (merlisk), settle your fights without asking the secret fighting force of ThoomCare™ to intervine...
Posted by: a ThoomCare™ member on July 7, 2003 09:09 AMWell, the pictures speak for themselves.
Posted by: Haenk on July 7, 2003 09:18 AMIndeed, pictures do speak volumes, if they're taken in context and with full disclosure.
Amazingly, all of the underhandness of Althea's, Bones', and Glug's work went undocumented.
Posted by: Merlisk on July 7, 2003 09:40 AMHey! I didn't trip you once! You jump too... er... that is...
I plead the fifth.
Posted by: Sareth on July 7, 2003 09:56 AMThoom.
Sigh.
Where are the old days, when many a round of fish oil was to be shared, and many a round of "A Fun Fine Fish my Friend" was sung with one's brave brother and sister Thooms?
"A fun fine fish you've caught my friend,
A fin fine fish my friend.
'Tis big as a whale, and tender as a tuna,
A fun fine fish my friend!
Divide that fish in two my friend,
Divide your fish my friend.
Gentle Thoom thoom loud, proclaim the feast,
A fanfare for the brotherhood of Thooms!
For a Thoom shares his joy!
And a Thoom shares his need!
'Tis the ocean of Thoomkind on Earth!
Yum! Fish!"
Now Leader: "Red Fish!"
Assembly: "Red Fish!"
Now Leader: "Blue Fish!"
Assembly: "Blue Fish!"
Now Leader: "One Fish!"
Assembly: "One Fish!"
Now Leader: "Two Fish!"
Assembly: "Two Fish!"
Now Leader: "Green Fish!"
Assembly: "Green Fish!"
Now Leader: "Spleen Fish!"
Assembly: "Spleen Fish!"
Now Leader: "Blow Fish!"
Assembly: "Blow Fish!"
Now Leader: "Zo Fish!"
Assembly: "Zo Fish!"
...
(Repeat indefinitely, the way Thooms like it. And I mean bring a new meaning to the term 'Indefinitely.')
I love the old classics....
Thoom. (Sadly.)
Posted by: Tad the Unhappy Thoom on July 7, 2003 11:03 AMThis whole thing seems rather silly to me.
Posted by: Sognus on July 7, 2003 12:22 PMWhat the hell does this have to do with news?
Posted by: on July 7, 2003 12:32 PMVisionstones of the disputed fight available to the highest bidder.
Posted by: Malkor on July 7, 2003 01:27 PMSounds like news to me!
Posted by: on July 7, 2003 01:41 PMEeep! I'm afraid another thoom has erred greatly! While I would like to claim it as my own....none of that artwork was created by me! Sorry Paramedic...and it's probably safer for a poor mystic to stay out of the affairs of dueling thooms I think.
Posted by: Wangah Rah on July 7, 2003 02:31 PMSo noted. Anyone know the artist of the Bones picture?
Posted by: Para on July 7, 2003 02:49 PMHoly crap, I'm out of the lands for a few days and now you're picking fights in town?
I simply ask that everyone try to be understanding of Merlisk's behavior at this time. I was gone for quite a long period (45 Puddledays!), and I'm sure he was feeling a lot of..tension and...frustration. I'll make it up to you, sweetybiscuits.
Posted by: Snow on July 7, 2003 03:03 PMBehold, the real Bones!
http://www.berberland.com/cl/graphics/evilbones.jpg
Posted by: Rael on July 7, 2003 03:43 PMWhat be zo fish?!
Posted by: a zo on July 7, 2003 08:57 PMWere there actual rules?
Posted by: Polerand on July 7, 2003 09:38 PMMerlisk DID cheat, I saw it with my own two eyes. Let someone heal him during the fight.
Posted by: Haze on July 7, 2003 11:07 PMA few corrections to Merlisk's...err account would you call that?
We were not trading jibes. While in thoom formation, there was punning going on. Out of the blue he insulted my person. For zero reason and with no provocation, he disrupted a thoom formation with his insult.
He could have apologized, but clearly disruption was his intent.
Amazingly enough, he has the temerity to now assert I'm without honor, while it was he who instigated the fight and he who cheated in the original duel
Gravely disappointed, I remain
Althea of Redwood
Posted by: Althea on July 7, 2003 11:23 PMIm quite neutral in this, although being a drunk dorf i love a good fight.
Unless you defined the rules of the duel beforehand, then there isnt anything wrong with being healed during the fight, neither so with someone else tripping the fighters ;) Morally maybe its wrong, technically it isnt.
Why dont you just fight again and define some proper dueling rules beforehand. Then i can watch ;-p
Posted by: Fundin on July 8, 2003 05:58 AMThe fact that someone was healing Merlisk might also indicate a witnesses favor towards Merlisk, showing that perhaps it was Bones and/or Althea who was in the wrong. Then again, maybe Merlisk is just too thoomy, so that people want to heal him, and Bones is not. More thoominess = better thoom, Merlisk wins.
Posted by: on July 8, 2003 07:35 AMPlease note in the sketch that Althea so cunningly submitted, Algernon in shown to be healing someone.
However, he didn't respond to my commands at the time as he was healin' someone else!
Alas, Althea shows her true colors...and they be black! Shame!
Posted by: Merlisk on July 8, 2003 11:15 AMPlease note in the sketch that Althea so cunningly submitted, Algernon in shown to be healing someone.
However, he didn't respond to my commands at the time as he was healin' someone else!
Alas, Althea shows her true colors...and they be black! Shame!
Posted by: Merlisk on July 8, 2003 11:15 AMAs Fundin says, unless specified beforehand, it was not cheating. And as the duel was over when Althea interceeded, she is an underhanded Babajaga knockoff. It is a sad day in Puddleby.
Posted by: Polerand on July 8, 2003 03:41 PMSo why did my esteemed Clan member fight Merlisk, anyway? I mean, if Althea fought Merlisk herself, as Merlisk well knows, he'd be fishbait. Maybe Bones was just looking for some sporting fun. Did Merlisk help raise Bones post-whackin'? Hey, dueling fer duelin's sake isn't so bad a thing.
Curious fens wanna know!
Posted by: Odes on July 8, 2003 03:43 PM5c on Bones durin tha rematch.
Malkor, I'll pay ya 10c fer a visionstone o tha event.
Beer!
Connie
50c on Bones during the rematch, he looks cooler than Merlisk.
Posted by: Captain Stinkfist on July 8, 2003 05:23 PMI dunno about you, but the very fact that this started because althea for offended lends towards her side of the argument.. Afterall we all know how level headed and calm she is.... *chuckle* ...
Posted by: Salandra on July 8, 2003 08:25 PMGood Thooms should not fight espiacaly those 2