Fishwrap #50 Released

Fishwrap #50, "Bloodblades and the Hermit," is now available.

PDF version (with a couple added pictures)

Read below for the full text.

FISHWRAP MAGAZINE

"I have a fishbowl overflowing with karma"

Issue #50: "Bloodblades and the Hermit"
[August 30, 2002]
Circulation: 173

Fishwrap Magazine is available on the World Wide Web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fishwrapmagazine/
You can subscribe here and also read all the back issues.

#####
IN THIS ISSUE

* The Bloodblade Interviews
* The Rising Claw Sylvan Fight
* Marsh Hermit
* Exile Appeal, or Lack Thereof

#####
SPONSORS

This issue of Fishwrap Magazine is brought to you by the following
sponsors:
* Clan Pogue Mahone
http://www.poguemahone.org/
* Clan Rising Claw
http://www.risingclaw.com/
* Order of Akara
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* The Puddleby Chamber of Commerce
http://homepage.mac.com/lintila/puddlebycoc/
* The Order of the Golden Maha
http://www.guildcraftfurniture.com/ogm/

#####
THOOMCARE MEDIA NETWORK HEADLINE NEWS
"TMN: Thoom News You Can Use"

New Painting in Museum
Trip to the Abyss
New Horus Healers List
Norm Chains in Island Rescue
Auctioning Raymond
Mystic Rumble in the Arena
Journey to the Lake
Darshak Attack
Bard Auditions Announced
Thoom of Death

for more information on the above stories, see TMN at:

http://www.thoomcare.com/

#####
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THOOM WITH A VIEW
BY PARAMEDIC THE THOOM, EDITOR

Don't forget to check out the frequently updated TMN news at

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If you'd like to submit some news or pictures to the ThoomCare Media
Network, just email them to me at thoomcare.com.

- Para

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#####
DORF ON THE STREET
CHARLOS ASKS ABOUT THE BLOODBLADE

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Manx says, "I'd be happy to."
Charlos says, "I'm here with Manx"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Manx says, "er..."
(Manx looks around nervously.)
Soulmaster says, "we're all bloodbladers Charlos"
Xrith ponders, "'bladers moan too much"
Manx says, "I think bloodblading is a dangerous activity."
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Manx says, "I do."
Phineas exclaims, "Whoot!"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Manx says, "Oh, no."
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Manx says, "Those things scare me."
Manx exclaims, "sure!"
Xrith ponders, "I would like to be nerfed"
Manx exclaims, "all the above!"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Manx asks, "Beats me, Chuck. Do undine use'em too?"
Manx ponders, "do they even have blood?"
Charlos says, "heh"
Xrith ponders, "no horking or tweaking on the first date though"
Manx says, "All I know is..."
Manx says, "as a healer it can be painful to watch someone suffer and
refuse help."
Manx says, "Not to mention the mess it makes on my new shoes."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Manx says, "Any time."
-----------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Shen Calin says, "Sure."
Charlos says, "I was wondering if you would be able to talk to me
about your bloodblade..."
Shen Calin says, "Ok.."
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Shen Calin says, "It gives me a boost of strength."
Shen Calin says, "I hit better, and I hit harder"
Shen Calin says, "when low on health."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Shen Calin says, "Depends on the situation."
Shen Calin says, "If I am low of health, then I use it."
Shen Calin says, "Or if I know I can't hit something.."
Shen Calin says, "I'll use it then."
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Shen Calin says, "You would say I am skilled. :)"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.. Not much actually.."
Shen Calin says, "I fall just as much as I did before. :)"
Shen Calin says, "if not more. ;)"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Shen Calin says, "Yes and no."
Shen Calin says, "Some people think I steal tags."
Shen Calin says, "But oh well. :)"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Shen Calin says, "Fighters, definately."
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin says, "I don't really remember her too much."
Charlos asks, "No clear recollection at all?"
Shen Calin says, "I can't remember her color of fur. :\"
Shen Calin says, "My sister might know."
Shen Calin says, "But.."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Shen Calin says, "That was long ago."
Charlos asks, "You feel as if she left you?"
Shen Calin says, "She was murdered. :\"
Charlos says, "I see"
Shen Calin says, "As was my father."
Charlos says, "You were orphaned"
(Shen Calin seems visibly shaken.)
Charlos says, "This had a traumatic effect on you"
Shen Calin says, "Aye."
Shen Calin says, "Very.."
Shen Calin says, "I wake at night sometimes with bad lucid dreams."
Charlos asks, "Dreams about your mother?"
Shen Calin says, "Aye."
Shen Calin says, "And my village"
Shen Calin says, "I remember it only slightly."
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Shen Calin says, "Nacerean is the one that gives Blood Mages our tools."
Charlos asks, "Nacerus?"
Shen Calin says, "Aye.. Sorry.."
Shen Calin says, "Not thinking clearly"
Charlos says, "Understandably"
Shen Calin says, "The Order was named after Nacerus."
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Shen Calin exclaims, "Ooh.. Tough one!"
Charlos ponders, "How'd that one slip in?"
Shen Calin says, "Hm."
Shen Calin says, "I think it's a toss up between gills and guts."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
(Shen Calin nods.)
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
Shen Calin exclaims, "ACK!"
Shen Calin says, "VERMINE!"
Shen Calin says, ".."
Shen Calin says, "umm.."
Shen Calin says, "Hmm."
Shen Calin says, "Vermine."
Charlos says, "Hmm"
Charlos asks, "What are the vermine doing?"
Shen Calin says, "surrounding my ankles.."
Shen Calin says, "biting.."
Shen Calin says, "erg."
Shen Calin says, ".."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Shen Calin says, "Yes.. I do."
Charlos asks, "How do reconcile the contradiction of maintaining low
health in a battle situation?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin asks, "Can you rephrase the question?"
(Shen Calin): Shen has no brain, Just ask Jo Ma'ril.
Charlos says, "I suppose I should.."
Shen Calin asks, "Do you mean, how do I justify having low health in
battle?"
Charlos says, "I mean to ask..."
Charlos exclaims, "Yes!"
Shen Calin says, "Ahh.."
Shen Calin says, "Low health is never justified.."
Shen Calin says, "but it comes with using a bloodblade."
Shen Calin says, "It is very risky.."
Shen Calin says, "and dangerous to my bodily health."
Shen Calin says, "But"
Shen Calin says, "it depends on the situation."
Shen Calin says, "Example:"
Shen Calin says, "If we are taking down savannah maha,"
Shen Calin says, "There is no need to use it."
Shen Calin says, "but if we are taking down a wrath, or frenzy and
there is plenty of horus.."
Shen Calin says, "Then I think taking down the critter is more of
importance."
Skywalker ponders, "only use bloodblade when you are: low in health,
need to hit something hard, or soloing..."
Shen Calin says, "Never soloing Skywalker."
Shen Calin says, "Too risky."
Skywalker says, "I know, I didn't mean to say that"
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Shen Calin says, "My friend."
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Shen Calin says, "Hmm.."
Shen Calin says, "Yes."
Shen Calin says, "The road of the Blood Mage is a very rocky one."
Shen Calin says, "You will be accepted and or not."
Shen Calin says, "If you show strong morals.."
Shen Calin says, "good judgment.."
Shen Calin says, "then you can possibly be a good Blood Mage"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Shen Calin for Fishwrap Magazine."
Shen Calin exclaims, "Of course!"
------------------

Elenis Reyav says, "Nooo"
Elenis Reyav says, "He's my bloodblade info source"
Elenis Reyav exclaims, "Mine!"
Hrothgar says, "Ahh, I can talk to you about some aspects. But some
things I've agreed"
Hrothgar says, "not to share"
Charlos says, "Sounds good"
Elenis Reyav says, "Though for a beer, he'll tell you all he knows."
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Hrothgar says, "I got tired of being a detha whore fighter, and things
weren't very exciting standing in one place having monsters endlessly
swinging at me"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Hrothgar says, "Well, I can't exactly stand in one place anymore. But
I find it suits me quite well"
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Hrothgar says, "I really can't give a number"
Charlos says, "Fair enough..."
Hrothgar says, "But.. About a year's worth"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Hrothgar says, "Well.. I used to stand in one place and try to block
on my own."
Hrothgar says, "Now I've assumed a support role"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Hrothgar says, "Ask Hidden, he loves it"
Hrothgar says, "Some healers are squeamish about it"
Hrothgar says, "But it takes some practice to use well. Namely knowing
enough to not go after cave cobras or valley panthers"
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Hrothgar says, "Yes, grew up in a life of happiness and wealth =)"
Charlos says, "Oh, I see"
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Hrothgar says, "None that I can see.. It's more reverse in that"
Hrothgar says, "a vampire takes blood from others to strengthen
himself.. We give our own to help others"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Hrothgar says, "Some do. In difficult situations sometimes you are
told by group leaders to kill something before everyone has tagged.
It's necessary, but some get upset"
Hrothgar says, "I would imagine Crunch would have similar situations"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Charlos says, "You mentioned squeamish healers before..."
Hrothgar says, "Healers have relaxed greatly as of late. A competent
blader doesn't fall often at all, and the healer never needs to worry
about healing them"
Hrothgar says, "Fighers who have a hard time tagging new critters have
always had the same mixed reactions"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Hrothgar says, "My mother was a very kind woman, of good health. She
was dismayed when I became a soldier but we always were on good terms"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Hrothgar says, "One who learns from Nacerus"
Hrothgar says, "Or rather does in a formal setting"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Hrothgar says, "Beer. Oh Beer by far"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
(Hrothgar thinks hard)
Hrothgar says, "I see a parchment. I accidentally left my cold beer on
it. The parchment is ruined but the beer is oh so cold =)"
Charlos says, "Well played..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Hrothgar says, "Rarely"
Charlos asks, "Why?"
Hrothgar says, "I only slip it on when there is a healer that insists
on healing me in a tough situation. It beats telling them to stop over
and over again"
Charlos asks, "How do you reconcile the contradiction of maintaining
low health in a battle situation?"
Hrothgar says, "We get very good at what we do."
Hrothgar says, "Most people have a hard time taking only 3-4 hits in a
battle. Imagine having to be so careful that you take 0"
Charlos says, "I see what you mean"
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Hrothgar says, "Thorin and I can't hit each other anyway.. ;D"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Hrothgar says, "Well, let the blade choose you. And join the support
group. learning a weapon is very hard alone"
Hrothgar says, "Unlike the other weapon users, we have set a support
group so we learn together and ultimately stay focused to a goal of
mastery. It's a pity the fells and the gosses don't =/"
Hrothgar ponders, " I'm sure the fell has a subclass of its own"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Hrothgar for Fishwrap Magazine"
Hrothgar says, "Anytime"
----------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Hidden says, "Heh, sure"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Hidden"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Hidden says, "Love it, couldn't live without it. Bloodbladers are my
best friends"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Hidden says, "Several. Shen, Asmodean, Hrothgar..."
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Hidden exclaims, "I'm a healer, of course not!"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Hidden says, "Hmm"
Hidden says, "No, I think they're fine. There's a lot of danger to
using 'em. Had to call in Horus a lot"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Hidden says, "Yes, one does a damn good job of killing the other"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
(Manx pokes at Gorvin.)
Gorvin says, "no, go away"
(Manx chuckles.)
Raymond Shifter says, "haha"
Charlos says, "heh"
------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Natas says, "go nuts"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Natas"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Natas says, "Not a whole hell of a lot"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Natas says, "I sure as hell hope not"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Natas asks, "What do you think?"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Natas says, "Mebbe junked"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Natas says, "Yes, they both suck"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Topaz says, "Hiya, Chuck"
Charlos says, "'lo"
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Topaz says, "Oh if ya need me to"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Topaz"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Topaz says, "I like it... if they have the ring to go with it"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Topaz says, "Yes"
(Topaz smiles)
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Topaz asks, "I am a healer, Chuck... what would I be doing using such
things?"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Topaz says, "Hmmm"
Topaz asks, "Do I have to choose?"
Charlos says, "You could choose one, or just say no"
Topaz says, "Naah"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Topaz says, "Hmm.. could be... maybe not..."
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
-------------------

Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, care to
answer a couple questions?"
Aries says, "you got it"
Charlos says, "I'm here with Aries"
Charlos asks, "What do you think about bloodblading?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Do you think the bloodblade should be tweaked, horked
or nerfed?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos asks, "Think there's a connection between bloodblades and the
undine?"
Aries yells, "DorfCare!! Dumb enuff to swing out but smart enuff not
to bloodblade!"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time, be well"
Aries exclaims, "yaaaaa!"
---------------

Darkmos says, "sure"
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Darkmos says, "Mmm, well, it was the first specialty weapon I was able
to train with"
Darkmos says, "and it best suited my training to this point"
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Darkmos says, "It is"
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Darkmos says, "Hmmm"
Darkmos says, "I have trained a decent amount with it, yes"
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Darkmos says, "I do my best to be a support fighter and usually don't
use it unless its on monsters we wish to kill quickly"
Darkmos says, "or are otherwise hard to hit"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Darkmos says, "I always ask if they want me to use my bloodblade and
if they feel it is necessary then they appreciate the use of it"
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Darkmos says, "Well, I fell a lot..."
Darkmos says, "That's about all I remember about it"
Charlos asks, "Fell? Fell down? Hard?"
Darkmos says, "Hmm"
Darkmos says, "Often, down, yes, and hard"
Charlos asks, "Any major, long lasting trauma?"
Darkmos says, "Hmm there was this one time..."
Charlos says, "Yes, go on..."
Darkmos says, "Split my head open on a rat's skull..."
Charlos says, "Sounds painful..."
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm, all I know about the relation is that Tenebrion"
Darkmos says, "once was interested in a bloodblade I believe"
Darkmos says, "and he plays with undine commonly"
Charlos asks, "Oh?"
Darkmos asks, "so... maybe?"
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Darkmos says, "probably"
Darkmos says, "but if they do I could care less"
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Darkmos says, "fighters"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Darkmos says, "erm"
Darkmos says, "hmm"
Darkmos says, "I was abused as a child, so..."
(Darkmos shrugs)
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Darkmos says, "umm"
Darkmos asks, "a person in that order?"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Charlos ponders, "How'd that one slip in?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm"
Charlos says, "Never mind, you don't have to answer that one... unless
you want extra credit"
Darkmos says, "thoom gills for sure"
Charlos says, "Ah"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
Darkmos says, "uhhh"
Darkmos asks, "the inside of Sabbit's head?"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Darkmos says, "I do"
Charlos asks, "How do reconcile the contradiction of maintaining low
health in a battle situation?"
Darkmos says, "erm"
Darkmos asks, "are you asking how do I keep low health? or how do I
live with low health?"
Charlos asks, "What I mean to say is, how do you justify it?"
Darkmos says, "oo I see"
Charlos says, "The maintenance of the low health..."
Darkmos says, "Well, if I can assist in the slaying of a monster that
I can otherwise not hit, then I can easily justify being low in health"
Darkmos says, "As long as I do not fall, I am not a large tax on healers"
Charlos asks, "So, it is a question of not being able to hit the beast
otherwise?"
Darkmos says, "It is a question of not being able to hit the beast,
and if the group can easily handle it without the assistance of a
bloodblade"
Charlos says, "I see..."
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Darkmos ponders, "friends?"
Darkmos says, "hmmm"
Darkmos says, "usually we kill each other"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Darkmos says, "I do in fact..."
Darkmos says, "When hunting in a group it is best to let them know you
are able to bloodblade and ask them before you do, and let the healers
know as well."
Charlos says, "Agreed"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the street
with Darkmos for Fishwrap Magazine"
Darkmos exclaims, "No problem!"
---------------

(Althea grins)
Charlos asks, "Dorf on the street for Fishwrap Magazine, mind
answering some questions?"
Althea says, "sure"
Charlos says, "I was wondering if you would be able to talk to me
about your bloodblade..."
Althea says, "ok"
Charlos asks, "Why do you use it?"
Althea shows her bloodblade to everyone.
Althea says, "why..."
Althea says, "because there is great power in it"
Althea says, "and sometimes great power is useful."
Charlos asks, "Is it your preferred method of fighting?"
Althea asks, "you mean do I employ it all the time?"
Althea says, "no."
Althea says, "I use it when the time is right."
Charlos says, "I mean, do you prefer it to "conventional" methods"
Althea says, "preference is such a difficult thing."
Althea says, "it's part of my path as a fighter."
Charlos asks, "I suppose I mean, do you enjoy it?"
Althea says, "I trade my health for power... my life force drains into
the blade"
Althea says, "its not a good feeling"
Althea says, "plus..."
(Althea looks embarrassed)
Althea says, "once I fell to a chigger using it"
Althea says, "so no."
(Charlos stifles an unprofessional chuckle)
Althea says, "enjoy isn't the right word for it."
Charlos asks, "How much have you trained with it?"
Althea says, "I once had 120 trainings with it"
Althea says, "but now..."
Althea says, "my learning has decayed."
Althea says, "I have not kept up my training. the decay makes me insane"
Althea says, "when I can have the ability to remember my training...
not lose it..."
Althea says, "then I will train it again."
Charlos asks, "Has it become less a part of your repertoire since the
decay?"
Althea says, "I sometimes hunt with a more experienced blader"
Althea says, "I don't think a group can support more than one"
Althea says, "So...yes."
Charlos asks, "How has your fighting changed since you started using it?"
Althea says, "I use it less"
Althea says, "my fighting and training hasn't changed."
Althea says, "the bloodblade only added a tool to my arsenal"
Althea says, "Unlike many, I don't run around with it constantly equipped"
Charlos asks, "How do your friends and hunting companions feel about it?"
Althea says, "it's a controversial weapon"
Althea says, "some support it, some don't."
Althea says, "some don't even know of my training"
Althea says, "see, I don't use it to tag"
Althea says, "I don't need to."
Charlos asks, "Did you have a happy childhood?"
Althea says, "yes, until my mother died."
(Althea smiles)
Althea says, "I was about ... 80 moons or so."
Charlos asks, "Is there a relationship between the undine and
bloodblading?"
Althea says, "hmm"
Althea says, "not to my knowledge. except ..."
Althea says, "undine populate the area where Nacerus dwells"
Althea says, "and the learning is about treading the path between life
and death..."
Althea asks, "who's to say?"
Charlos says, "Not me..."
Charlos asks, "Do exiles get upset with you about your fighting style?"
Althea says, "no."
Charlos asks, "Because you don't use it to tag?"
Althea says, "Correct. because I always put the group first."
Charlos asks, "Do you find healers or fighters object to it more?"
Charlos says, "In general, not to you..."
Althea says, "from anecdotal reports..."
Althea says, "watching it in use"
Althea says, "not from myself..."
Althea says, "but I see fighters get mad because a thoughtless
bloodblader"
Althea says, "will take down a critter too fast"
Althea says, "or the fighters are just generally unhappy at their
changed role"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "What kind of relationship did you have with your mother?"
Althea says, "heh"
Althea says, "she wanted me to be a healer"
Charlos says, "I know she passed when you were young..."
Althea says, "I didn't wanna"
Althea says, "so we had some friction"
Althea says, "otherwise good"
Althea says, "she and I and Luney left my father when we were young."
(Althea shrugs)
Charlos says, "She wanted you to carry a moonstone..."
Althea says, "yes"
Charlos says, "Instead you used one to obtain your bloodblade..."
(Althea smiles)
Althea says, "why yes I did."
Althea says, "sorry mum."
Charlos says, "I see"
(Althea smiles)
Charlos asks, "What is a Nacerean?"
Althea says, "a member of the Nacerean Order"
Althea says, "a semi-secret society of Blood Mages"
Charlos says, "Ah"
Charlos asks, "What is more appealing: Beer gut, thoom gills or
mini-skirts?"
Althea says, "Thoom gills"
(Charlos holds up a piece of parchment with an ink blot in the center)
Charlos says, "Clear your mind..."
Althea ponders, "beer gut looks good too though"
(Charlos pats his beer gut)
Charlos says, "Tell me what you see here..."
(Althea oohhmmmms)
Charlos says, "On the parchment..."
(Althea looks)
Althea says, "hmm"
Althea says, "it looks like... bunnies..."
Althea says, "with ... big teeth..."
Althea says, "dripping with some sort of fluid...maybe blood."
Althea says, "or else its a fluffy kitty"
Charlos says, "Interesting..."
Charlos asks, "Do you use a bloodring?"
Althea says, "no"
Althea says, "Unfortunately, I no longer have sufficient training"
Charlos asks, "How do you reconcile the contradiction of maintaining
low health in a battle situation?"
Althea asks, "how do I reconcile it?"
Althea says, "a healer can take away my power with a moonstone"
Althea says, "but I'm subject to healers cadding me"
Althea says, "the most difficult part of the weapon is the group dynamic"
Althea says, "it demands much of everyone"
Charlos says, "The group dynamic..."
Althea says, "healers will see low health and their response is Pavlovian"
Althea says, "healers have to think in a new way"
Althea says, "fighters have to think in a new way"
Althea says, "the bloodblader must get used to having a glass jaw"
Althea says, "its a change for everyone"
Althea says, "the ring takes some of the burden off healers"
Althea says, "becase they don't mistakenly heal"
Althea says, "the party can focus on fighting again"
Althea says, "it's a good thing."
Charlos asks, "Let's say you and your best friend are in the arena...
who wins?"
Althea says, "Well, I dropped both Yor and Natas with it once."
(Lonesome Dove grins.)
Althea says, "not at the same time"
(Althea smiles)
Charlos asks, "A full battle?"
Althea says, "they were duels"
Charlos asks, "From start to finish with the bloodblade?"
Althea says, "No. let 'em knock you low"
Althea says, "then equip and finish 'em."
Althea says, "It's a great berserker weapon"
Charlos says, "Slick"
Althea says, "That's how I use it a lot in the field"
Charlos asks, "Berserker?"
Althea says, "yes..."
Althea says, "yer dying, take out as much as you can with you."
Althea asks, "does that make sense?"
Charlos asks, "So, you give up on your own life in order to end others?"
Althea says, "hehehe"
Althea says, "Provided the others are monsters, yes."
Charlos says, "Of course..."
Althea says, "and I'm already in trouble..."
Althea says, "take as many of the baddies out with me as I can"
Charlos says, "I see"
Charlos asks, "Do you have any advice for prospective bloodbladers?"
Althea says, "Yes. much"
Althea says, "1. Understand there's a group dynamic you need to be
sensitive to"
Althea says, "2. Develop your basic fighting skills independent of
blading. Don't make that your only valuable skill"
Althea says, "3. Throw your ego out"
Althea says, "It only gets in the way"
Charlos says, "Wise words"
Althea says, "That's all my advice"
Charlos says, "Thanks for your time. This is your Dorf on the Street
with Althea for Fishwrap Magazine"
Althea says, "heh"
----------------

Charlos says, "I'm here with Luce"
Charlos asks, "What do think about bloodblading?"
Luce says, "I love watching fighters bleed. Particularly when they cut
themselves."
Charlos asks, "Have any friends who bloodblade?"
Luce asks, "Friends?"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Natas says, "Mebbe that ain't such a good question for a healer"
Raymond Shifter says, "sure it is"
Charlos says, "Yea, I know..."
Luce asks, "What was the question?"
Charlos says, "I outta figure out an alternate, but I'm a lousy reporter"
Charlos asks, "Ever thought of using one yourself?"
Luce says, "I'm not fond of being wounded myself."
Luce says, "I wouldn't mind using one on someone else. I understand
they dice halfings pretty well."

#####
ADVERTISEMENT

MATE
Taking applications for the position of mate.
Must be interesting.
Apply to Puddleby Post Office box #2106 or in person to Nettle.

#####
"THE RISING CLAW SYLVAN FIGHT"
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

The day dawned fair, the sun shone clear
The breeze was clean and light,
Twas time for all both far and near
to witness the sylvan fight.

Had one besmirched the other, say?
Called cad or poorly dressed?
It's more they were like brothers, yea,
Just wanting to see who's best.

So one small drink and a bite or two
and they hustled out the door,
their steely blades gleamed bright as dew
as they headed to the shore.

They trod through town, well-shod and clad
In fineries rare and bright.
One would think they were two dandy lads
Not heading to a fight.

Each launched out in a rowing boat
Upon the shining sea,
But all that water and sloshing about
Made Malloc need a tree.

To the arena both arrived, not least,
A silent crowd stood, amazed,
Save one fat dwarf who cried 'Five on beast!'
Apparently drunken dazed.

They both faced each other with respect
Both their eyes a-twinkle,
Then graciously they did genuflect
Causing not a single wrinkle.

The fight was on! And circling each
Both swords raised in the air,
Neither wanted to be the first to leap
Afraid to muss their hair.

A stomp! A slice! And then a thrust!
Drax stumbled, seeming hurt
Malloc cried 'O, aye! You're injured, I trust!'
Drax said 'Nay, but you've torn my brand new shirt'!

Malloc poked and slashed and swiped with will,
A tattered Drax looked weary,
'Ye gods, do something other than stand still!'
Said a voice both slurred and beery.

A desperate last move made by Drax
ended with a Malloc gored,
He closed his eyes, held out his axe
And tripped upon a board.

Malloc looked down upon the rent
Groaning through the pain
'O, no! This top was good money spent
And I'll never get out that stain!'

The healers came and fixed them both
And made them new again
Malloc sighed looking at their clothes
'I'll be sewing for days on end.'

So off they went, both arm-in-arm
Singing a song both merry and bright,
For though they fought, there was no harm
In the Rising Claw sylvan fight.

"WHACKIN CRITTERS SONG"
BY ODESSEUS OF S'KOUR

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters,
I run around, from hill to town,
Whack-o-whackin critters

Whack to the left, whack to the right,
Whack all day and then all night
Why should I run when I can fight?
Whack-o-whackin critters

Is it an orga or is it rat?
It actually looks like Aldy's hat
Whack it anyway, now fancy that!
Whack-y-whackin critters

Dontcha hate it when critters hit back?
So spin aroun' an' give em a whack!
Turn that critter into a snack!
Whack-a-whackin critters

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters,
I run like hell, from glade to dell,
Whack-y-whackin critters

Up in the pass, there's stoney Grey,
A few small rocks and down you'll lay.
Oh, screw it all, whack anyway!
Whack-o-whackin critters.

I whack away until I'm red
Healers all just shake their heads
And when I fall, I'm PN Dead
Whack-a-whackin critters.

You'd think my thirst has long been slaked
A long-willed rest I ought to take
But this old habit's hard to break
Whack-y-whackin critters

Whackin critters, whackin critters,
Whack-a-whackin critters.
I'm a fighter, it's what I do,
'n'if you don't like it, talk to Prue!
So hold yer tongue 'er I'll whack you!
Whack-y-whackin critters!

#####
INTERVIEW WITH MARSH HERMIT
BY THISTLE

Thistle says, "Heyers, Marsh Hermit"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
(Thistle nods)
Marsh Hermit nods to Thistle
Thistle says, "I'd verrah much like t'innerview yas fer th' Fishwrap
iff'n that's okie"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle exclaims, "Yar, really!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Excellent"
Thistle says, "Now, I's not a reporter, official-like. I's jus' tryin'
my hand at the freelancin', y'know"
Marsh Hermit asks, "I have two hands, how about you?"
Thistle says, "Lessee"
Marsh Hermit says, "I see"
Thistle says, "One, two"
Thistle says, "Yeps, two hands, jus' like you"
Marsh Hermit asks, "How do you feel about your body?"
Thistle asks, "Well, it's where I lives. How 'bout you?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Maybe I lIves. How 'bout you too"
Thistle says, "Gotcha. Mind iff'n I sits down? This could takes a wee
while"
Marsh Hermit exclaims, "Stop committing useless mistakes. Make your
next mistake count!"
Thistle exclaims, "Okie!"
Thistle says, "Now, let's git started"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Is it that urgent?"
Thistle asks, "Not really. Wouldja rather wait?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle asks, "Mebbe s'more small talk first?"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle exclaims, "Y'know, iff'n y'hadn't tol' me that a buncha times
when I were trainin' with ya, I'd take offence!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't think you were trainin' with me"
Thistle exclaims, "I was too!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle says, "Remember? Check my progress"
Marsh Hermit says, "Thistle, you keep me on my toes"
Thistle asks, "See?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Are you just babbling?"
Thistle says, "Well, kinder. But I thought you wasn't ready t'git
started yet"
Marsh Hermit says, "You are always making excuses"
Thistle asks, "Shush! This is an innerview, you's not s'posed t'know
me, remember?"
Marsh Hermit sighs
Thistle says, "Okies, once more from the top"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "Thass okie"
Marsh Hermit says, "I think you are sick, leave me alone"
Thistle says, "Marsh Hermit, I's here t'innerview you fer th' Fishwrap
magazine."
Marsh Hermit says, "I live in the dank marsh"
Thistle asks, "Is that th' only marsh?"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
Thistle asks, "Yar, that's true. So, okies ... I's gonna ask ya some
questions. Say, 'leven. How's that sound?"
Marsh Hermit says, "No idea"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout yer marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "The dank marsh is not the only marsh"
Thistle says, "Mm hmm"
Marsh Hermit says, "I smell beer"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout the other marsh or marshes"
Marsh Hermit says, "I know my way around the marsh"
Thistle says, "Okie, 'nuff 'bout the marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "I know my way around the marsh"
Thistle says, "Who taught you 'bout ...

... Y'know, mebbe I oughter leave that bit out ...

... is a difficult skill but I could train you"
Thistle exclaims, "Y'already trained me y'daft ol' fool!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Are you new here Thistle? You seem confused..."
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout training more"
Marsh Hermit says, "Amigas are cool..."
Thistle asks, "Whassa Amiga?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Would you like to touch my chipmunk?"
Thistle exclaims, "I think tha's a l'il personal, even fer ol' friends!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle says, "Yes. Tell me 'bout yer friends"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle says, "I said yes! I heard you gots a friend or two yerself"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Could you be friends with someone?"
Thistle asks, "Look, I said yes! Y'mean you?"
Marsh Hermit asks, "And?"
Thistle says, "Um ... and mebbe ... lessee ... how 'bout Samwise"
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm"
Thistle exclaims, "He's nice!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "How long has he been nice?"
Thistle exclaims, "Since forever!"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle exclaims, "Yeps! Hey ... wait a minnit! I's the one askin'
questions here!"
Marsh Hermit asks, "What's new in Puddleby?"
Thistle says, "There's a bath house now"
Marsh Hermit asks, "Why now?"
Thistle says, "Well, it's been there a while. There's new tunnels,
too. An' Bick's got remodelled."
Marsh Hermit says, "Modesty: Being comfortable that others will
discover your greatness"
Thistle asks, "Uh huh. Who's babblin' now, eh?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Don't ask me"
Thistle says, "Oh, right! Another question"
Marsh Hermit says, "Really"
Thistle says, "Tell me 'bout the last time ya left the marsh"
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"
Thistle says, "Yar. Hmm ... how 'bout books? Tell me 'bout the last
book ya read"
Marsh Hermit exclaims, "NO!"
Thistle says, "Oop! Okie! No need t'git angry"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "Tha's okie. Issa two-way street. Tell me 'bout you"
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm...exciting"
Thistle says, "But ... but ... all ya do is hang around inna marsh an'
train folx in ...

... I'm thinkin' mebbe that bit oughter git left out, too ... some
things 'tween ol'
friends jus' oughtn't t'be aired in public ...

Marsh Hermit says, "The dank marsh is not the only marsh"
Thistle asks, "Well, yar, but when's the las' time ya saw the other
marshes?"
Marsh Hermit says, "But this but that...."
Thistle exclaims, "Jus' 'cuz this isn't th' onliest one dun mean ya
ever sees th' others!"
Marsh Hermit says, "I am falling asleep"
Thistle says, "Okie, one more, then it's yer turn ..."
Marsh Hermit says, "Hmm...exciting"
Thistle asks, "What's yer favourite colour?"
Marsh Hermit says, "Like I care"
Thistle asks, "Is that like green?"
Marsh Hermit says, "I don't seem to understand you."
Thistle says, "No mind, then. It's yer turn anyway."
Marsh Hermit says, "Are you new here Thistle? You seem confused..."
Marsh Hermit asks, "What's new in north beach?"
Thistle says, "Ask me a question ... any question ... but only one"
Marsh Hermit says, "You are always making excuses"
Thistle says, "That were a good one! I hasn't been there inna while,
but I'll goes there now an' find out. Letcha know when I gits back."
Marsh Hermit says, "It's important to know your way around"
Thistle says, "Yar, it is. Thanks fer the innerview, Marsh Hermit"
Marsh Hermit says, "I live in the dank marsh."
(Thistle waves)
Marsh Hermit nods back at Thistle
Thistle says, "Yer daft as cheese, ya ol' bugger, but I loves ya anyway."
Marsh Hermit says, "But what"
(Thistle hugs Marsh Hermit)
Marsh Hermit says, "A marsh is an easy place to get lost"

#####
AN EXPOSE ON HOW EXACTLY TO BE SEXY
-OR-
AN ESSAY ON MIND, MATTER, AND SEX APPEAL
BY POLERAND

So, you wish to achieve the same (or at least similar based upon
ability, current bank account size, and other anatomical qualities)
levels of sexiness that some of Puddleby's residents have? For
example, Polerand. And for another example, Polerand. And then Mai and
Chum are sort of, too. I mean Chum has martinis and a tropical shirt,
and Mai is god. But then, don't we all have tropical shirts in one way
or another? Ok, scratch Chum. And Mai doesn't count. So Polerand. That
should do just fine.

Now, you may be asking, "How could I ever hope to even stand next to
Polerand without being blinded? He is very sexy." Well, well, well,
you can't, really. But I can certainly help you to be able to hold
your own against Jo Ma'ril. Or maybe even Vagile! But that takes
coins. So, what is the point of this? Why to help you poor souls out a
tad! Polerand is holy, after all, and likes to give back to the
community. And to refer to himself in the third person. But that is
not very sexy, and will be left out of this article.

The first key to being sexy is confidence. There are many ways to gain
confidence. You could try lying to yourself over and over until you
believe your own delusions, but this could have social drawbacks as
well. You could do good for the community on a grand level, such as
Prue. You could copy Althea, as Babajaga has done from time to time.
You might even want to go hunt! I know, it is a dreadful suggestion,
but it has been documented* that money does impress on the same
frequency as sheer sexy will power. Or something like that. So lots
and lots of coins will help. Take Malkor, for example. I would pay you
to take him away, and then you would gain coins and be more sexy than
before! Never imitate Spriggins. They are inherently unsexy. Unless
they wear foxweir furs, which are very fashionable, and thus pricey,
going back to the hunting for coin suggestion. All of these should
increase your confidence which will not only provide you more sexy
appeal than before, but it will also regrow hair**!

And for the advanced students, I suggest green hair, and perhaps even
green clothing. Green clothing, however, separates the wheat from the
chaff, so be forewarned!

-Polerand

*No such documents have been provided in the Lok'Groton Islands.

**I make no claims to curing Zo-anything, including but not limited to
baldness and the rabid case of hot pants.

#####
Fishwrap Magazine is produced by the ThoomCare Media Network.

Publisher and Editor: Paramedic

Senior reporters: Charlos, Jeanne, Norm, Odesseus

Roving reporters and contributors: Althea, Babajaga, Bones, Callia,
Deadmeat, Hellpop, Kiriel D'Sol, Kirth Gersen, Koric, K'Pyn, Lundar,
Monolith, Perkusi, Sor, Sum, Tarf, Tyking II, WorldWalker, Yor

A newspaper is only as good as its reporters, and we are always
looking for new stories. If you have news you think belongs in
Fishwrap Magazine, send Paramedic mail at the Puddleby Post Office
(mailbox #1047) or email him @ thoomcare.com.

Posted by Para at August 30, 2002 12:27 AM